Many Twitterers have become familiar with the infamous Fail Whale, but the true story of this internet celebrity has only now been brought to light. We here at WeMadeAFunny have myriad high-level connections. We say this to assure you that this story is, while shocking, indeed true (and because “myriad” is a fun word).
While most people see the fun loving Fail Whale frolicking in a net, being lifted out of the sea by a flock of Disney-esque Twitty-birds, the truth is much more twisted and non-Disney-esque (unless you count that big penis tower in Ariel’s castle).
In a statement released today, Stan, a Twitter-employed Fail Whale net-carrier, has revealed, for the first time, the shocking context of the infamous, soon to be notorious, Fail Whale photo.
“Most twits think it’s just an innocent little sperm whale, smiling giddily as my fellow Twitty-birds, lug his ass out of a cartoon ocean,” Stan told reporters (aka Dexter Pennyfeather and Elly Mentry). “But it’s all a big lie. Due to our simple and un-detailed drawn bodies, no one can tell, that, in actuality, we’re his dirty little sex slaves and he loves to be tied up in that leather net of his, as we are forced to lift him high above his skeezy water bed!”
Stan is pressing charges against Twitter for indecent exposure of dork and for exploiting his ability to fulfill leather net fetishes.
0 Responses to “Twitter Sex Scandal Uncovered”